Ariana RexQuick Summary
Making friends online isn’t desperate or pathetic. It can be one of the easiest ways to meet people who genuinely share your interests, especially after moving somewhere new. Small Discord servers, local Reddit or Facebook groups, Twitter, and Bumble BFF can all lead to real friendships when you start conversations naturally instead of forcing them. Not every connection will stick, and that’s normal. The friendships that do last grow through shared interests, consistent effort, low-pressure meetups, and giving each other space when conversations go quiet.
Look, I get it. The idea of making friends online can feel weird. You might be thinking:
“Isn’t it kind of pathetic to look for new friends on the internet?”
“What if I come across as desperate?”
“How do I even know these people are real?” A good companion to this is our look at friends with benefits.
Here’s the truth—I used to think the same way. Until I moved to a new city where I knew nobody, and my only options were:
- Befriend my barista (who was just being nice because it was her job).
- Hang out with my neighbor’s overly energetic dog (great listener, terrible conversationalist).
- Actually try making new friends online.
I went with option 3. And guess what? Some of my closest friendships started through a screen. Our guide to starting a flirty conversation picks up where this section stops.
Where Real People Actually Find Friends (Not Just Theory)
Forget those “Top 10 Friend-Making Apps” lists written by someone who clearly hasn’t tried them. Here’s what actually works based on real experience:
1. Twitter (Yes, Still Works)
- Follow people who tweet about your niche interests (e.g., “history memes” or “terrible reality TV takes”).
- Reply to their tweets with something funnier than just “lol”.
- If the vibe’s right, slide into DMs like: “Okay, but why do we have the same brain?”
2. Small Discord Servers
The trick? Avoid massive public servers where messages disappear in seconds. Look for:
- Servers with 50-200 active members.
- Ones that require a short intro to join (filters out bots).
- Channels for off-topic chatting (where real friendships form).
3. Local Subreddits & Facebook Groups
Search:
“[Your city] + [your interest]”
Examples:
- “Chicago Plant Swap”.
- “Seattle Quiet Coffee Lovers”.
- “Denver Hiking for People Who Walk Slow”.
After the pandemic, I noticed local groups exploded with activity. People seemed more open than ever to saying yes to coffee meetups or casual hangouts that started online. When you are ready, our post on meeting people organically is a good place to continue.
4. Bumble BFF (Surprisingly Not Awkward)
Profile tips:
- Include a conversation starter (“Ask me about my failed sourdough starter”).
- Swipe right on people who seem slightly out of your comfort zone.
I tried this app for a full month just to see if it worked. Honestly, it felt awkward at first, but by the end, I had matched with people I still grab brunch with today. It’s way less cringey once you stop treating it like dating and start treating it like “friend shopping.” If you want to see what the research says, this page on making friends as an introvert is worth a look.
How to Not Be That Weird Person Online?
We’ve all gotten that message:
“Hello friend! I am looking for a nice conversation. How is your day?” You can read more about being ghosted in our dedicated guide.
Don’t be that person. Instead:
DO:
- Reference something specific from their profile (“Your cat looks like it’s judging me—what’s their name?”).
- Send memes/links as conversation starters (“This reminded me of your tweet about…”).
- Admit you’re awkward at this (“Okay, I’m bad at first messages, but your baking photos look amazing”).
DON’T:
- Immediately trauma dump.
- Ask personal questions right away.
- Get upset if someone doesn’t reply (people are busy!).
When to Take It Offline (And When You Really Don’t Need To)
Some of my best friendships exist entirely through:
- 3 AM voice messages.
- Sharing Spotify playlists.
- Live-tweeting to bad TV shows together.
But if you want IRL hangs:
- Chat for at least 2-3 weeks first.
- Suggest a specific low-pressure meetup:
“I’m going to [local event] Saturday—wanna join?”
“There’s a bookstore cafe I’ve been meaning to check out”.
The Hard Truth Nobody Tells You About Online Friendships
About 70% of online new friendships fizzle out. And that’s okay! It’s not about quantity. If it helps, we have also written about birthday gifts by age.
I’ve messaged dozens of people where:
- The chat died after 2 days.
- We met once and had nothing to say.
- One of us just ghosted (it happens).
But the 30% that stick? Those become the friends who:
- Send you care packages when you’re sick.
- Remember your weird hyperfixations.
- Become your emergency contact when you move cities.
Over the years, I’ve helped hundreds of people figure out how to keep those strong connections alive, and I can tell you the ones that last are worth way more than the ones that fade.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q1. Isn’t It Kinda Sad To Make New Friends Online?
Pfft, is it sad to order food online instead of cooking? Same logic. The internet’s just another tool to meet people who actually get you. Some of my closest friends started as random Twitter replies – now we send each other birthday gifts and have inside jokes about microwave disasters.
Q2. How Do I Avoid Looking Desperate?
Flip it around – would you think someone’s desperate for replying to your tweet about cat memes? Nah. Just act like you’re already friends: ‘Yo, that cat looks like it’s planning world domination – what’s its name?’ Natural beats ‘perfect’ every time.
Q3. What If the Conversation Just Dies?
Let it! Friendships aren’t 24/7 performances. Try: ‘Anyway, I’m gonna go [insert mundane activity like “eat cereal” or “stare at wall”], catch you later?’ Takes the pressure off. Some of my best friendships have months-long gaps – we just pick up where we left off.
Q4. How Do I Know If They’re Genuinely Interested?
They’ll make it easy. Like remembering you hate mushrooms and sending a pizza place’s menu going ‘THEY HAVE MUSHROOM-FREE OPTIONS!!’ If you’re always carrying the convo? They’re just not that into you, and that’s fine.
Q5. How Do I Suggest A Meeting Without Being Weird?
Pick something with built-in escape routes:
I’m hitting up the weird thrift store Saturday – wanna hunt for ugly sweaters together? No worries if not!
There’s a taco place by me that gives free chips – down to critique their salsa sometime?
Q6. What If We Meet Up And It’s Awkward?
Embrace it! My now-best friend and I sat in silence for 10 minutes staring at our coffee cups. Now we joke about it. Pro tip: Plan an activity (mini golf, bookstore browsing) so you’re not just staring at each other.
Q7. How Often Should I Message First?
However often feels natural – but if you’re keeping score, that’s your sign to pull back. I’ve got friends I text daily and others who pop up every 3 months like ‘so about that thing from April…’ Both are valid.
Q8. What If They Ghost Me?
Assume they got abducted by aliens and move on. Seriously – people flake for a million reasons that have nothing to do with you. Better one awkward ghosting than forcing a friendship that’s not there.
Q9. How Do I Keep Online Friendships Alive Long-Term?
Send voice notes instead of texts when you’re tired.
Tag them in dumb memes with no explanation.
Mail random postcards when you travel. (“This gas station had a llama statue. Thought of you.”)
Have a shared playlist where you add songs that remind you of each other.
Q10. When Is It Time to Let Go?
When it feels like homework. Good friendships feel like ‘hell yeah!’ not ‘I guess I should reply…’ You wouldn’t chase someone IRL who never texts first – same rules apply online.
Your Homework (Yes, Really)
Today, do one of these:
- Comment on a post you’d normally just like.
- Join a small Discord server and say hello.
- Message someone whose profile made you laugh.
The worst that happens? Nothing. The best? You might meet someone who gets you.
Some of the tools I recommend here are ones I personally use. If you ever want a deeper dive or one-on-one advice, you can always reach out. I love helping people build real connections.
Want me to write about another specific angle? Like how to maintain online friendships or spot red flags?
